This is going to have noth­ing to do with sur­vival­ism, sub­ur­ban sur­vival, or urban sur­vival, unless you are talk­ing about mon­ey, and we might.  I am in sales, start­ed a new job about 16 months ago, and my income basi­cal­ly relies on much of what I sell.  To say the com­pa­ny I work for is frag­ment­ed inter­nal­ly is an under­state­ment.  It is hard to get things done, and makes it hard for me to sell my prod­ucts and ser­vices.

To make a long sto­ry short, I have been work­ing on a mas­sive sale over the last 15 months.  It is so large the CEO of the com­pa­ny, has basi­cal­ly said, work on this pret­ty much as your only project until you get the sale.  Well, I did.  The down­side, is that I just brought in the largest sale of my career (7 fig­ures).  How­ev­er, in work­ing on only one sale for the past 15/16 months, I have not been able to sup­ple­ment my income with com­mis­sions.   Coin­ci­den­tal­ly, my mon­ey sit­u­a­tion has slow­ly been get­ting tighter, and tighter, and tighter.  It seems both the sale and my finan­cial sit­u­a­tion have come to a head at about the same time.  The down­side, I am trav­el­ing this week, my reim­burse­ment check(s) have not come from my past busi­ness trav­els, and mon­ey is less than tight, it is near non-exis­tent.  Not sure how I am going to get through this week, on the road, but I am a lit­tle wor­ried, since my com­pa­ny has not respond­ed to my requests to expe­dite my reim­burse­ments.

I’m not too sure why I am writ­ing this, oth­er than I think I need to vent, and for the first time in a long time I am wor­ried about not hav­ing the funds to do my job.

I won’t get into why my sav­ings has dwin­dled over the past cou­ple of years.  That is a com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent sto­ry and would be much bet­ter told in per­son than via the blog.  But let me just say, it leaves some speach­less, and oth­ers say­ing, “oh…”

I despise being in this posi­tion.  I despise any­one being in this posi­tion, and promised myself I would not let myself get here again, yet here I am.  You might be ask­ing, “what about this large sale you just made?  Did­n’t you make any mon­ey?”  Yes, yes I did.  How­ev­er, the billing does not start until next year, and I do not earn my com­mis­sions until then… Ouch.  Sort of squelch­es being hap­py about reach­ing your goals, per­son­al, pro­fes­sion­al, or achiev­ing the com­pa­ny goals.  All I feel like say­ing is, what­ev­er.

I don’t say this for sym­pa­thy, but more for self eval­u­a­tion of where I need to go going for­ward.  In hind­sight, work­ing on the one deal only was a mis­take.  On the flip side, it allowed me to focus.  Live and learn I guess.  Take a les­son, nev­er depend on one thing for the result you are look­ing to achieve… It may bite you before you get to where you are going.